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Nov
11

Videos That Have Not Aged/Will Not Age Well

The impetus for this was discovering the text of the radio call on the Cardinals broadcast for Mark McGwire’s 61st home run.

“Mike Morgan is the pitcher. Here’s the pitch to McGwire … SWING … looky there! LOOKY THERE! Looky there! McGwire’s number sixty-one! McGwire’s flight 61 headed for Planet Maris! History! Bedlam! What a moment! Pardon me while I stand up and applaud!”

The quote was attributed to Joe Buck, who does the call shown above for No. 62 and out of who’s mouth that above blurb would sound ridiculous. I’ve since discovered it was actually said by his father, Jack Buck, which somehow makes it seem roughly 100 percent less ridiculous.

Forever Lazy, however, is always going to be ridiculous.

From the makers of the Snuggie comes something, somehow, even more depressing. (PLEASE SAY LAZY AGAIN, VOICE-OVER PERSON. I HAVEN’T QUITE GOTTEN WHAT YOU’RE GOING FOR.)

Earlier today, I saw a woman in a Dale Earnhardt Jr.-era Bud NASCAR jacket purposefully pushing a baby stroller full of wet paper bags past my apartment. She was calmly speaking to another woman as she rolled, greatly decreasing the chance she was merely a wandering crazy.

Seeing a man in one of these in the bathroom line at a sporting event would be many times more jarring. I suppose we’ll have to wait for the team-print versions, though.